I liken the Ego to the role that the Real Self plays in a movie. While the Real Self doesn't change, the Ego changes depending on its opinion, biases, mood swings, likes and dislikes, and expectations.
In other words, the Real Self is the actual person, and the Ego is the character that the person plays. The Ego follows a script, acts according to the scenario, and is controlled by the director who calls the shots over what happens in the film.
Your Real Self is actually unaffected by the break-up, but your Ego is directed to be hurt and desperate about it.
So, although the Real Self is undisturbed by your temporary physical separation from your loved one, your Ego panics and feeds false inner narratives to your mind because it cannot get what it wants right away.
The Ego expects the moon and the stars and wants them RIGHT NOW, and when the Ego does not get what it wants, it starts to have a toddler's temper tantrum.
The reason the Ego acts this way is the stored false and limiting beliefs (FLBs) in the Subconscious Mind.
In fact, these stored beliefs are the script that the Ego uses to play its role in the movie of life. If you have so many FLBs stored in your Subconscious Mind, the Ego will play them out one by one depending on the situation.
This only shows that the role (or Ego) and the script (or stored FLBs in the subconscious) are not part of your Real Self although you always identify these as parts of your Real Self, and navigate through life as if the Ego and the Real Self are one and the same.
The role and the script can change at the will of the Real Self through the Superconscious Mind so that when the role and the script change, the movie (Physical Reality) also changes.
In your physical separation from your loved one right now, your Ego plays out a role based on the following scripts (FLBs): fear of abandonment, fear of being left alone, fear that your loved one might find someone else, lack of self-love, and jealousy.
As a result, your Ego has the tendency to text your loved one, insist on them to give you answers to your neverending questions, ask them to see you, insist on getting back, ask your loved one if they are seeing someone else, check all their activities on social media, ask your loved one's friends about them, etc.
Some people have extreme FLBs that they go to the extent of physically hurting their loved one just because their Ego is extremely hurt, offended, and trampled upon. This is how dangerous the Ego can get in the absence of the directive power of the Real Self.
The reason you easily identify your Ego as your Real Self is the Ego is what directly interacts with your Physical Reality. It is the Ego that reacts to what you see, feel, smell, taste, and hear. It is the Ego that turns these sensory data into perceptions and opinions of your Physical Reality.
When you believe that you are the Ego, it is as if you believe in the Fake Self. It also means that you believe in all the lies that the Ego feeds you.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR ROLE
The good news is you can change your role if you want to, especially when you acknowledge the fact that your role (or Ego) is not really you (or Real Self), but just a mask that you wear to navigate through life the way you know how.
With this realization, you can go back to being the Observer of your role by looking at how you play it, by analyzing the script that you use, by examining how you deal with your co-stars, and by observing how the scenes affect your acting. In this way, you can change your role, your traits, your reactions, and your expectations based on the quality and attributes of your Real Self.
When you observe how the Ego plays your role in manifesting your loved one, you will easily spot what's wrong with the acting, the script that you use, and even the dynamics between you and your co-actor (your loved one.) This way, you can easily make changes in the way you act, the way you react to your loved one's acting, and the way you treat your loved one in general.
Of course, this won't be possible without changing the scripts (FLBs) that are stored in your Subconscious Mind. After all, it is the script that dictates how you act the scenes out. You will learn more about this in the following lessons under Reprogramming the Subconscious Mind.
THE OBSERVER OF THE ROLE
The Observer of the role that the Ego plays is your Real Self. Most people are too focused on what happens to them or what others do to them. They also try so hard to long for love outside of them and to anchor their validation on their loved one.
They want their loved one to love them back so badly; when the truth is, what they are looking for cannot be found outside of themselves. What they’re looking for is actually their Real Self.
Your Real Self has a character that represents a strong will to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. You can use this character to influence your Ego. The character of the Real Self can be used to help the Ego respond to different situations intelligently and positively.
If you have the strength of your Real Self, you will also have a strong will and ability to influence other creations around you. Sometimes, even your mere presence can affect others around you without you trying to influence them.
This is the reason strong characters can walk into a room and get the attention of everyone without even saying a word. Some people call this charisma.
On the other hand, those who have strong Ego always have the need to get other people’s attention — they do everything in their power to get what they want right away. Unlike the mesmerizing quality of a strong character, a strong Ego doesn’t usually succeed in getting what it wants.